Time For George Burns Quotes

"Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up." George Burns

"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate." George Burns

"You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made." George Burns

"Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair." George Burns

"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." George Burns

"I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life." George Burns

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." George Burns

"I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked." George Burns

"At my age flowers scare me." George Burns

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." George Burns

Portrait by Allan Warren, 1986

George Burns (January 20, 1896 – March 9, 1996), born Naftaly Birnbaum, was an American comedian, actor, and writer.

He was one of the few entertainers whose career successfully spanned vaudeville, film, radio, and television. His arched eyebrow and cigar smoke punctuation became familiar trademarks for over three quarters of a century. Beginning at the age of 79, Burns' career was resurrected as an amiable, beloved and unusually active old comedian, continuing to work until shortly before his death, in 1996, at the age of 100.

Naftaly (later called Nathan) Birnbaum was born on January 20, 1896 in New York City, the ninth of 12 children born to Louis "Lippe" and Dorah (née Bluth) Birnbaum, Jewish immigrants who had come to the United States from Romania. Burns was also an active member of the First Roumanian-American congregation. His father was a substitute cantor at the local synagogue but usually worked as a coat presser. During the influenza epidemic of 1903, Lippe Birnbaum contracted the flu and died at the age of 47. Nattie (as he was then called) went to work to help support the family, shining shoes, running errands, and selling newspapers.

When he landed a job as a syrup maker in a local candy shop at age seven, he was "discovered," as he recalled long after:
Read more about George Burns at Wikipedia

"Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made." George Burns

"I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money." George Burns

"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair." George Burns

"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere." George Burns

"How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days." George Burns

"It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." George Burns

"I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill." George Burns

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." George Burns

"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." George Burns

"If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it." George Burns

"Be quick to learn and wise to know." George Burns

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." George Burns

"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick." George Burns

"I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age." George Burns

"The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made." George Burns

"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." George Burns

"This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two." George Burns

"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age." George Burns

"I spent a year in that town, one Sunday." George Burns

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed." George Burns

"Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life." George Burns

"I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something." George Burns

"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns

"I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate." George Burns

"How can I die? I'm booked." George Burns

"It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere." George Burns